Marriage and Money
Roses are red; violets are blue. No matter the cost, I’ll stand by you…
Have you had the talk yet?…You know, the one about money, spending habits, future goals, budgeting…?
If you haven’t, it should be a top priority for your relationship. If you have, have it again. Discussing finances should be a regular and healthy part of your lifestyle together. Being on the same page in this area will protect your marriage (or future marriage) against the most common relational enemy. You’ve heard the statistics. Money and finances are the number one reason couples argue and ultimately divorce. Don’t let your marriage become a number.
Make Finances a Joint Venture
Regardless of you or your spouses accounting or investment skill set, planning out your financial future and implementing those strategies should be a mutual effort. Coming together to decide matters in the area of finance will allow you both to be on the same page number…of the same book. Couples drift away from each other day by day when they are not planning their future together.
Relationships and matters of finance should not be left to one person alone, even if he or she is “better at it.” This disconnects one partner from a key area and anytime one of the partners is left out of a major area of the relationship, it will lead to the two of them planning and living, by default, two separate lives. We, as humans, are meant to be in relationship with each other, and drifters will eventually wash up on someone else’s shore. So, make it a priority to come together and stay together in the area of financial planning.
Tip for Financial Success
Use this time of planning as an opportunity to build closeness into your relationship.
Respect and Love
The two greatest relational needs. Anytime you are communicating with your spouse, you are communicating either respect and love or their opposites. Since the topic of finance can stir one or both of you up, be especially careful to communicate this respect, love and trust through words, tone and body language.
Listen and Speak Lovingly
Listen for his or her dreams, desires, goals, reasons. Your partner has spending habits, as we all do. Find out the why behind the what. This will help you to understand your partner better and offer support when needed.
Be a voice of encouragement. Speak highly of and to your spouse. Build him or her up with your words. Remind your better-half how capable, intelligent and valued he or she is. You have the power to build up or to tear down, and it starts with a simple comment.
Give Financial Grace
If this is a new process for your relationship, a new way of doing things financially. Give yourselves grace to get through the transition. Old habits may die hard, but building new and healthy patterns into your relationship is definitely worth the initial investment!
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